Measuring Leader's Coffin Skit
This Skit is meant for Cub Scouts.
Decide for yourself if it is appropriate for your younger scouts or not.
small cup of water 3 oz.
volunteer with long pants (victim)
Have a 3rd helper bring the cup of water onstage after the body is covered, or have it hidden somehow. A small balloon stored in one scout's sleeve or pocket works.
Pour the water down the opening where the pants leg falls away from the ankle so it runs down.
2 scouts play the roles of undertakers in the wild west (or whatever theme you want). They ask the volunteer to lie on the ground, having just been killed in a show-down (duel, war, hiking accident, ...)
While Scout 1 is doing his first speech, Scout 2 drapes the sheet over the body and whispers in the volunteers ear that all he has to do is lift the part of his body that they touch to make it funnier since he's dead.
Scout 1: (western drawl. ) This here's poor ol' Pistol Pete - the best darn sheriff our little town ever had. Sorry to say the Bushwhack Gang done kilt him last night when they robbed the bank. Me and Clyde here is gonna bury him this afternoon so's we's got to measure him for his coffin first.
Scout 2: (helps lift volunteers head and measures the left ear through the sheet) His left ear's 3 inches, Carl.
Scout 1: OK, his right ear's 7 inches, Clyde. (writes down numbers on imaginary pad and pushes head back down if needed)
Scout 2: (raises left hand) His left hand's 6 inches, Carl. (pushes hand back down)
Scout 1: OK, his right hand's 11 inches, Clyde.
Scout 2: His left arm's 20 inches, Carl.
Scout 1: OK, his right arm's 38 inches, Clyde. Hmm, this coffin is gonna be tricky.
Scout 2: His left foot's 8 inches, Carl.
Scout 1: OK, his right foot's 18 inches, Clyde. Gotta adjust for that, I guess.
Scout 2: His left leg's 20 inches, Carl.
Scout 1: (raises right leg up and slowly pours water down it) OK, his right leg's 42 inches, Clyde.
(at this point, either the volunteer notices the water and the scouts run away. Or, the scouts need to wrap up the skit.)
Scout 2: Well, Carl, we best go get busy on that coffin now. Looks like we'll have to charge extra for a custom fit and waterproof lining!
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