Oh, we grow things mighty big down in Kentucky But there's nothing in that state that can compare To a cow that we once had us And the name of her was Gladys Boy, you should have seen the neighbors stop and stare. She stood 10 feet tall and had one purple eyeball It took eight of us to milk her, here is why: She had 27 spigots And the tourists all bought tickets Just to watch us milk and hear us loudly cry-y-y-y...
Chorus: Oh, pass the udder udder and I'll pass it to my brudder And I'll pass the udder udder dis-a-way So we passed the udder udder and I passed it to my brudder Oh, we really had our hands full every day.
We created quite a spectacle, I grant you But we milked her just as pretty as you please And while people said, 'How funny,' We raked in enough durn money To go out and order ermine BVDs. Father turned her on her back one Sunday morning Gladys said 'I'm upside down, now what's the gag?' 'Well, the reason why,' said Pop, 'is so the cream will be on top.' 'Gosh,' the cow said, 'in that case, it's in the bag!' Chorus
Now our Gladys was a star in cattle circles Though she couldn't read or write her name in full You would think she'd been to college Although she herself acknowledged That she gained her fame entirely by pull. Gladys said to us one cold and wintry morning She said, 'Milking is the thing I dearly loves, But when I get a cold it lingers And I can't stand icy fingers So go on back in the house and get your gloves!' Chorus