The Audition Skit

3 scouts

Need to memorize the lines so they are the same each time.

Scene: a director is holding auditions for actors in his play. 2 scouts show up to audition.

Director: Welcome to the auditions for my new play. Go ahead with your audition when you are ready.

(2 actors take places and begin their demonstration)
(they speak in monotone with no gestures at all - very boring)
Actor 1: Give me your money.
Actor 2: No.
Actor 1: Give me your money.
Actor 2: No.
Actor 1: I will shoot you and take it.
Actor 1: Bang. (with finger as gun)
Actor 2: (falls to floor, boringly)

Director: (jumps up enraged) That was pathetic! You call that acting!??! I want to see something with feeling! Show me something SAD!

(this time do the exact same lines, but both actors are crying through the whole thing)
Actor 1: Give me your money.
Actor 2: No.
Actor 1: Give me your money.
Actor 2: No.
Actor 1: I will shoot you and take it.
Actor 1: Bang. (with finger as gun)
Actor 2: (falls to floor, crying)

Director: No, No. Speed it up. I want some ACTION!

(this time do the exact same lines, but very, very fast)

Director: Way too fast! Slow down a little.

(this time do the exact same lines, but very, very slow)

Director: Oh, come on! How about trying some comedy - do something FUNNY!

(this time do the exact same lines, but the actors are laughing hysterically the whole time.)

Director: (gives up and screams ) Out, Out, OUT!