Roadkill Stew Song

Tune: Three Blind Mice

Roadkill stew
Roadkill stew
Tastes so good
Just like it should

First you go down to the Interstate
You wait for the critter to meet its fate
You take it home and make it great
Roadkill stew
Roadkill stew

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Three blind mice are dead
Three blind mice are dead
See how they lie
See how they lie
Cold grey bodies on the slab
Cold grey bodies on the slab
Poor dead mice
Poor dead mice

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Egg fried rice
Egg fried rice
King prawn foo yung
King prawn foo yung
Beef with pepper and black bean sauce
Battered round meat things (I hope it's not horse)
Did I remembember to order, of course
The egg fried rice

Egg fried rice
Egg fried rice
Crispy won ton
Crispy won ton
Half an aromatic crispy duck
Served with pancakes and hoi sin muck
(I don't think it'd dead 'cause I just heard a 'cluck')
And egg fried rice

Egg fried rice
Egg fried rice
Spring onion
Spring onion
Szechuan chicken washed down with Champagne
Deep fried seaweed and chicken chow mein
Eat it all once, and then eat it again
With egg fried rice

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Three small rodents with optical deficiencies,
Three small rodents with optical deficiencies,
Observe how they perambulate,
Observe how they perambulate!
They all hastened after the agriculturist's spouse.
She severed their posterior appendages with a chef's chopping implement.
Have ever you audited such an account in your existence
As three small rodents with optical deficiencies?

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Three small mice, three small mice,
They pined for some fun, they pined for some fun.
They made up their minds to set out to roam,
Said they, 'Too dull to remain at home'
And all the luggage they took was a comb,
Three small mice, three small mice.

Three bold mice, three bold mice,
They came to an inn, they came to an inn.
Good evening good host can you give us a bed ?
The host he grinned and shook his head
So they all slept out in a field instead,
Three bold mice, three bold mice.

Three cold mice, three cold mice,
They woke up next morn, they woke up next morn.
They each had a cold and a swollen face
From sleeping all night in an open space;
They rose quite early and left the place.
Three cold mice, three cold mice.

Three hungry mice, three hungry mice,
They searched for some food, they searched for some food.
But all they found was a walnut shell
That lay by the side of a dried-up well;
Who had eaten the nut they could not tell,
Three hungry mice, three hungry mice.

Three starved mice, three starved mice,
They came to a farm, they came to a farm.
The farmer was eating some bread and cheese,
So they all went down on their hands and knees,
Said 'Oh give us a morsel please'.
Three starved mice, three starved mice.

Three glad mice, three glad mice,
They ate all they could, they ate all they could.
They felt so happy they danced with glee
But the farmer's wife came out to see
What might their merrymaking be.
Three glad mice, three glad mice.

Three poor mice, three poor mice,
They soon changed their tune, they soon changed their tune.
The farmer's wife said what are you at,
And why are you dancing around like that ?
Just wait a minute I'll fetch the cat.
Three poor mice, three poor mice.

Three scared mice, three scared mice,
They ran for their lives, they ran for their lives.
They jumped out on the window ledge,
The mention of cats put their teeth on edge
So they hid themselves in a bramble hedge.
Three scared mice, three scared mice.

Three sad mice, three sad mice,
What could they do, what could they do ?
The bramble hedge was most unkind,
It scratched their eyes and made them blind
And soon each mouse went out of his mind.
Three sad mice, three sad mice.

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a sight in your life
As three blind mice, three blind mice.

Three sick mice, three sick mice.
They gave way to tears, they gave way to tears.
They could not see and they had no end
So they went to the doctor and found a friend
Who gave them some Never-Too-Late-To-Mend.
Three sick mice, three sick mice.

Three wise mice, three wise mice,
Rubbed rubbed away, rubbed rubbed away.
And soon their tails began to grow
And their eyes recovered their sight, you know.
They looked in the mirror, it told them so.
Three wise ice, three wise mice.

Three proud mice, three proud mice,
They soon settled down, they soon settled down.
The name of their house I cannot tell,
But they've learned a trade and they're doing well.
If you pay them a visit, just ring the bell,
Three times twice, three times twice.