Flea Circus Skit

table
string
small dish
two straws
small box
rock

Ringmaster: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present the world's most amazing Flea Circus. To get things hopping, I present Hugo, who will walk the tightrope. When he reaches the center, he will turn a double somersault. May we have silence, please?
(two scouts stretch a string above table and third scout pretends to place a flea on one end of the string. Scouts follow the flea as it walks to the center of the string and does a doulbe somersault. They should point with their fingers and use exagerated head movements to follow the somersault up, up, and back down so the audience can see them.)

Ringmaster: Awesome! Hugo is going to attempt a world-record TRIPLE somersault now. Shhhhhh!
(Scouts follow the flea up, up, up, ... when an scout holding the string sneezes.)
Ringmaster: Oh no! Hugo is blown off course!

(one scout gulps and gags as if he inhaled the flea.)
Scout #1: Ack! I swallowed Hugo! (he runs offstage)

Ringmaster: Poor Hugo. Oh well, on with the show. Our next act is about to begin. Homer will jump from this scout's hand into a dish of water. Keep in mind the size of this tiny fellow.
(one scout comes onstage or a string holder does the next part. He sets the dish on the table and holds his hand out flat palm up high above the dish.)

Scout #2: 3, 2, 1, Jump! (follow his dive into the dish. Then scout retrieves flea from dish in his hand.)

Ringmaster: Well done, Homer! Give the little guy a big hand.
(Scout quickly claps, forgetting Homer - he looks shocked, and slowly parts hands, looks horrified at squished flea, and runs off stage.)

(scout #3 comes onstage with a rock)
Ringmaster: Too bad for Homer. Our next fabulous act features Hector, the weight lifting flea. Hector is the strongest flea in the world. That rock may not seem large to you, but think of how small Hector is... compare his size to the size of this rock.
(scout sets rock and flea on table and points at flea, flexs arm muscles, and points at flea again - indicating how strong Hector is)

Ringmaster: Hold up that rock so the audience can get a better look at it and see just how much weight Hector has to lift.
(scout holds up rock in one hand, bounces it a couple times, then plops it back onto the table without looking. He looks around for Hector, picks up rock, and finds him smashed to the underside of it. He runs offstage with the rock.)

(scout comes onstage wearing an easily-removed shirt)
Ringmaster: We seem to be having a bit of hard luck. But the show must go on. I now introduce Harry, the bare-back riding flea.
(scout removes shirt and places flea as far back over his shoulder as he can reach.)

Scout #4: Hang on, Harry! Here we go! (he runs offstage, barebacked)

(three scouts come onstage with string and straws.)
Ringmaster: He made it! And now Hank and Hillary will perform their world famous trapeze act. Hillary will make a triple somersault and Hiram will catch her.

(scouts hold up trapezes made of a straw on a string. Place flea on each one and start swinging them back and forth.)
Ringmaster: There they go! Watch them swing! Hillary lets go, she's turning a somersault. One, two, three, and Hiram catch.. er.. misses her!

(scouts look on floor for Hillary.
Scout #5: There she is! (points to floor near scout 6)
Scout #6: Where? (steps out of the way, but right onto the flea.)
Scout #5: You just stepped on her! Oh well, she needed more practice, anyway. Say, [to Ringmaster] we have another flea act for you. He's a man eating flea!
(opens small box) Oops, he got away!

(Ringmaster begins to scratch frantically, yells 'help' several times, and runs off stage. Scouts chase him.)
Scouts: Hey! Bring back our flea! We want our flea!