The Tune:

Oh, there ain't no bugs on me, on me.
There ain't no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain't no bugs on me.

Oh there ain't no flies on me, on me.
There ain't no flies on me.
There may be flies on some of you guys
But there ain't no flies on me.

Well, the Juney bug comes in the month of June
The lightning bug comes in May
Bed bug comes just any old time
But, they're not going to stay

Well, a bull frog sittin' on a lily pad
Looking up at the sky
The lily pad broke and the frog fell in
He got water all in his eye.

There ain't no frogs on us.
There ain't no frogs on us.
There might be frogs on some of you dogs,
But there ain't no frogs on us.

Mosquito he fly high
Mosquito he fly low
If old mosquito lands on me
He ain't a gonna fly no mo'

A peanut sittin' on a railroad track
His heart was all a flutter
Along come a choo-choo on the track
Toot! Toot! Peanut butter!

A cow walked on the railroad track,
the train was coming fast.
The train got off the railroad track
to let the cow go past!

As I went walking through the woods
Humming a tune so gaily
The wind come whistling through the trees
And froze my ukelele

Oh there ain't no lobsters on me
There, ain't no lobsters on me
There may be lobsters On some of you mobsters
But there ain't no lobsters on me.

Oh it ain't gonna rain no more no more
It ain't gonna rain no more
How in the heck can I wash my neck
When it ain't gonna rain no more?

Well little bugs have littler bugs.
Up on their backs to bite'em
And the littler bugs have still littler bugs
And so ad infinitum.

We had a cat down on our farm
It had a ball of yarn
When those little cats were born
They all had sweaters on

She lay down by the sewer
And by the sewer she died
And at the coroner's inquest
They called it sewer side

We had a goat down on our farm
It ate up old tin cans
When those little goats were born
They came in Ford sedans

Some people say that fleas are black
But I know that ain't so
'Cause Marry had a little lamb
Whose fleece was white as snow

Mary had a little lamb,
so goes the tale of yore.
She loved that little lamb so much,
she passed the plate for more.

I woke up in the morning,
I glanced upon the wall.
The roaches and the bedbugs
were having a game of ball.

The score was six to nothing,
the roaches were ahead.
A bedbug hit a home run
and knocked me out of bed!

The chamber maid came to my bed
Get up you lazy sinner
We need the sheets for table cloths
And it's almost time for dinner

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To try out Jack's new flivver
The car broke down a mile from town
And dumped them in the river.

A doctor fell into a well
and broke his collar bone.
We think that he should tend the sick
and leave the well alone.

A farmer slipped on the old barn roof
when rotten boards gave way,
And as as he fell, he shrugged and said,
'It's time to hit the hay.'

Humpty Dumpty fell right down
and landed on his head,
So, all the horses and the men
had scrambled eggs and bread.