Frog Collection Joke
How deep is Frog Lake?
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful Princess.' The boy picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog said, 'Hey, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I'll love you forever.' The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back in his pocket.
The frog yelled, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll clean your house, cook for you, and love you forever.' The boy took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back.
Finally the frog asked, 'What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll cook and clean for you and love you forever. Why won't you kiss me?'
The boy said, 'Look, I'm a cub scout. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool.
The librarian is working away when a chicken enters the library and walks up to her desk. The chicken clucks, 'Book, book, book, BOOK!'
The librarian sets a pile of four books in front of the chicken. The chicken grabs them and disappears out the front door.
About an hour later, the librarian sees the same chicken come into the library. It sets the four books down on the desk and again squawks, 'Book, book, book, BOOK!'
The librarian wonders what the chicken is doing with these books, but since they seem to be in fine shape, she takes the returns and gives the chicken 4 more books. The chicken zips out the door and down the road.
Another hour passes and the librarian hears a loud 'Book, book, book, BOOK!' She looks up from her work and sees the chicken back yet again! By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her. She gives the chicken four more books and it heads for the door. This time, as soon as the chicken is gone, the librarian jumps up and runs to the door. She follows the chicken down the road for a half mile to an old farm. The chicken ducks through the fence and disappears into a cluster of trees.
The librarian hops the fence, and sneaks up to the trees. As she moves some branches aside, she sees the chicken standing by a pond handing each book to a frog. As the frog looks at the cover of each book, he says, 'Read It. Read It. Read It. ...'
Two frogs sitting on a lily pad when a fly came buzzing by. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing. Soon the other frog joined in the laughter.
Then the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so much they nearly fell off their lily pad laughing.
A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what was so funny. The first frog answered 'Time.'
'Huh?' asked the third frog.
The second frog explained: 'Time's fun when your having flies.'
Once upon a time, there was a little green frog who had a very big mouth.
The frog was hopping down the road when he met a cat. He looked at the cat and then shouted, 'CAT! WHAT DO YOU EAT?'
The cat replied, 'I drink milk,' and returned to cleaning its whiskers.
The little frog said, 'OH! THAT'S NICE!' and continued down the road.
Then he met a dog. 'DOG!' shouted the frog, 'WHAT DO YOU EAT?'
The dog said, 'I eat meat.'
The frog shouted, 'OH! THAT'S NICE!' and continued down the road.
He met a cow grazing along the road and, even though the answer was obvious, the big-mouthed frog shouted, 'COW! WHAT DO YOU EAT?'
The cow blinked and said, 'Why, I eat grass, obviously.'
The frog shouted happily, 'OH! THAT'S NICE!' and continued down the road.
He found a large snake coiled in the center of the road and shouted, 'SNAKE! WHAT DO YOU EAT?'
The snake hissed and looked at him before replying, 'I eat little frogs with big mouths.'
The frog blinked, then whispered in a very small voice, 'Oh... that's nice.'
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat watever bugs them!
What does a frog wear on St. Patrick's day?
What did the frog dress up as on Halloween?
What car does a frog drive?
What's green and jumps?
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What's white on the outside, and green on the inside?
A frog sandwich!
What do you say to a hitch-hiking frog?
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
What do frogs do with paper?
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
What is a frogs favorite time?
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
How can you tell if a frog is deaf?
You yell 'Free Flies' and he doesn't come.
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
What do you call a frog with legs?
Why did the frog croak?
Because he ate a poisonous fly!
What is a frog's favorite game?
What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak
What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?
The cat still had eight lives, the frog just croaked.
Why did the frog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you get if you add milk?
What happens if you drink frog nog?
Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?
To pick the flies out from between his teeth!
What has more lives that a cat?
A frog - he croaks every night.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He was going to robbit.
Why are frogs such liars?
Because they are amFIBians.
A scientist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, 'Jump, frog, jump!'
The frog jumped.
The scientist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, 'Frog with four legs jumped siz feet.'
Then he cut the frog's front legs off and ordered, 'Jump, frog, jump!'
The frog struggled and jumped.
The scientist noted in his journal, 'Frog with two legs jumped two feet.'
Next, the scientist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, 'Jump, frog, jump!'
The frog just lay there.
'Jump, frog, jump!' the scientist repeated.
The scientist noted in his journal, 'Frog with no legs is deaf.'
Top 10 Reasons Why It's Great Being a Frog
10. Babes are always kissing you because they think you'll turn into a prince.
9. Flies in your soup are a bonus.
8. You're above toads on the food chain.
7. Green goes with absolutely everything!
6. Pond Scum is a term of endearment.
5. Most restaurants have a 'no croaking' section.
4. Amphibians are at a minimum risk of appearing on Geraldo.
3. You can scratch hard to reach places with your tongue.
2. You can donate your body to science for big bucks!
1. It sure beats being a newt.
Why couldn't the snake talk?
He had a frog in his throat.